This is my Arkansas.

I like to smell flowers. I don't like bees.

I like to laugh. I don't like to be laughed at.

I like to sleep. I don't like snoring.

I like to cry. I don't like to sob.

I like to use my manors. I don't like to be taken advantage of.

I like to be included. I don't like large groups.

I like to enjoy myself. I don't like to get wasted often.

I like to feel good. I don't like to feel out of control.

I like to look pretty. I don't like to try.

I like to be honest. I don't like bull shit.

I like to make my own decisions. I don't like things to be expected of me.

I like to see snow. I don't like the cold.

I like to be confusing. I don't like not understanding.

I like to be happy. I don't like this.

My best friend.

When people tell you to live each moment as if it were your last, do you take them seriously? Do you step back and think that they are absolutely right? Many of us claim to, but hardly any of us do.

While I sit on this hard floor I take a second to notice everything around me. A guitar on the other side of the wall. A car driving by. Leaves rustling in the wind. The temperature dropping far too quickly for it to still be August. The mass of debris piled on my dorm room floor. My wonderful Chip sleeping in bed. Voices passing by the window. It's all happening far too fast.

When I was 4 years old in Kindergarden I had no idea what it meant to take a deep breathe, and capture a moment. But instead I caught a best friend. Someone who, without knowing me, picked up my bracelet when it fell off. And how did I repay her? I stepped on her hand the same day. I only wish I could remember this. But I never needed to, she was always reminding me.

She reminded me of so many precious times we've shared. When we met. When we became 'blood sisters'. Every little thing that I let slip between the cracks, because I didn't know how to take in each moment. Yes, I was young. Yes, I was carefree. Yes, I'm happy that she was always there to remind of what my mind had let slip away.

But now she's not here. 20 years later, and I've lost the only person aside from my family that built me. Helped me become who I am today. In many aspects I greatly believe that if it had not been for her, I wouldn't be anywhere close to who I am today. Much of what I've learned from her or experienced with her, are reasons why I am me.

I can only hope that she knew how much I love her. I respect her. I'm thankful for her. I cherish her. I cry for her. I laugh for her. A piece of me died in the crash that took her tremendous life. A part of her will always live on through me.

With every adventure I embark on. Every mistake I make. Every time I laugh so hard I cry. For the rest of my life, I will live for her. I will experience everything I can for her. I will help her see everything that she has missed. I will live each moment as if it is my last for her.

Jessica Lynne Williams, I love you. Forever and Always.

one.

One more month of retail. One more month of Michigan. One more month.

Better make the most of it.