Saturday, February 19, 2011

stuck & guilty

I feel like my feet are trapped in hard cement. I feel stuck, and I'm stating to loose my breath. I can't be myself here. I'm not happy to begin with, and now I live with my boyfriends mom and step dad. Both of whom I hadn't met before unpacking my jeep into their house. I feel weird being a guest in their house, I feel weird being a girlfriend in this house. Especially when it'll be over in a couple months. I hate looking forward to that, I feel extremely guilty and unworthy of the roof they've so graciously given me. I feel like I can't do anything for myself, I'm barely making ends meet with money. I just hope I don't loose my mind any time soon. Although, sometimes that sounds a lot easier then the current conditions in my head.

I'm ranting again, it's been so long since I've ranted. I need a friend, I need a shoulder. I just fucking need someone.