Monday, May 2, 2011

These walls are paper thin.

It's May 2nd and there's at least 4 feet of snow outside. My throat is dry from nothing and all I want to do is scream.

Back in Wyoming and all I feel like doing is breaking. I don't understand how everything can feel so good and so bad at the same time. I feel distanced from everything and everyone. And the worst part? I pretty much brought it on myself. At least I feel as if I did. I'm trying to tell myself that it's just the beginning of a new chapter of my life, and everything will be okay. I can only hope I'm right.

There is no good way to describe the past 6 months. I've been so down that I feel like I'm loosing myself sometimes. I hardly feel in control of my emotions anymore. I don't feel as if I belong here. Maybe I shouldn't have come back. Maybe I should have just let everything spiral out of control this winter instead of letting him hold on.

Mistakes happen.

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